


The Subject of a Wife

by Jay_Wells



Series: The Odd Life of Alexander Hamilton [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Explicit Language, I know they're really dysfunctional, Infidelity, M/M, Reason-You-Suck speeches, Relationship Issues, but it's only because they're young and emotional, they'll get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_Wells/pseuds/Jay_Wells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander finds out about Martha. He is not pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Subject of a Wife

“John, babe, you’ve got a letter from London,” Alex called from the kitchen. John jumped off the couch and moved as quickly as he could without arousing Alex’s suspicion. “It says it’s from Martha Laurens -- that’s your sister, right?” John winced when he heard the distinctive _schiiip_ of the letter opener. “There’s a picture of your niece and a letter. It says Martha is doing fine and your … daughter has gotten over her cold. John, what is this?”

Shit. “Alex, look … ”

“You told me Martha was your sister.” Alex reread the letter silently, his lips moving along with the words. “What’s this about a daughter?”

“Martha _is_ my sister’s name,” John replied.

His face blanched. “You mean to tell me …?”

“No! No, my sister’s name is Martha, but uh,” he stalled. “My wife is named Martha, too.”

“You have a _wife._ ”

“Alex, there was never a good time to tell you,” John pleaded. “I swear I meant to, but I knew you wouldn’t like it.”

There was a drawn-out pause, and a mix of emotions passed over Alex's face. Finally, he made an attempt at disinterest. "You could've told me when you met me. Would've saved me a lot of trouble. I wouldn't have spent nearly a decade on this if I knew what you were pulling."

John's throat tightened. Alex was a bad, bad actor, but his words sounded like the script for John's nightmares. "Alex, stop it. I get the point."

Alex slid around the table with a faux-pleasant smile. “No, no, it’s alright. But, as long as we are on the subject of _wives_ , I think you should find me one. I’m not disinclined toward the fairer sex, you know.” He smiled wider and flashed teeth.

“Please don’t do this, Alex.” He replaced the abandoned letter in its envelope.

“Since you’re such a ladies’ man, it should be easy,” Alex continued. “I want her young and pretty. She should be intelligent, not come with nightmarish in-laws and faithful -- I’m fond of the notion of fidelity. She must be kind and generous enough to overlook my flaws.” He stood directly in front of John now and looked up at him. “I don’t care about her politics. I’ll convince her I’m right on the strength of my arguments. I’d be satisfied if she were a little religious, so long as she’s not a zealot. If she’s got the money to pay for her things, all the better. You can damn me for my greed, but money is necessary to be happy.”

John huffed unconvincingly. “Now you’re going overboard. Alex, we can talk about this. Please, just sit down and -- ”

“You think I’m overreacting?” He raised his voice an octave. “John, I am not overreacting at all. I just want things to be even.” He jumped up on the counter so that he was almost equal height to John. When he resumed his tirade, his voice had reverted to an eerie joviality. “Now, you’ll have to give them a description, which I’m sure you’ll be well-equipped for. Do me justice, John, when you tell the ladies about my finer qualities -- ”

“Will you just stop?” John shouted. “You’re being difficult for the sake of it now, so just shut up and listen to me will you?”

“Should I?” Alex fired back. “Did you think I didn’t notice that you always got off the phone when I came in the room? I thought it was your sister you were calling and that you were _ashamed_ of me!”

“Did you ever think, just for a second, that it’s not about you? God, you’re so fucking self-centered.” John crossed his arms. “You know, there’s a lot of pressure on me to be the perfect son, not that you'd understand what that's like, you egomaniacal bastard -- and that means getting married to a _woman_.”

“Maybe, I don’t know, warn a guy before you make him -- ”

“If you call yourself my ‘dirty secret,’ I swear I’m gonna punch you -- ”

Alex held out his hands as if to protect himself and whistled. “Oh, will you, now? Badass alert here.”

“You’re acting like a child,” John said.

Alex jumped off the counter. “No, I’m pissed. Get the fuck out of my way.”

“Where are you going?” John moved to block the front door. It was going to be dark soon. “It’s late. Alex, don’t do something stupid ‘cause you’re mad.”

Wrong thing to say. “I’m going to a friend’s. I’m not pathetic, you know.”

“I know you’re not, so why don’t you just sit down and I’ll explain everything.” John tried to pull Alex from the door. He really didn’t like the idea of him going out so late, even if he was a little pissed at him and vice verse.

Alex yanked back his arm. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m _not._ You’re being hypersensitive.” He held out his hands apologetically. “I don’t blame you for being mad, but this is taking it too far.”

“Which is it, Laurens: am I being too sensitive or am I justified? Make up your mind and face the issue.” Alex opened the door and backed out. “You’re always ignoring problems until you can’t fix them.”

He stormed down the hall and John took a few steps out the door. “Yeah? You can’t see past the end of your own nose, which is surprising because it’s so small.”

Alex made a very rude gesture at him and disappeared into the stairwell.

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of the April 1779 letter from Hamilton to Laurens was that he was hurt and tried to hide it by being cheery and/or sarcastic. At the end of the letter, he tells Laurens that he's sorry and that after "reviewing what [he had] written" he realised he was being petty. However considering that in that case he had the benefit of rereading the letter after cooling off a bit, I imagined it would have played out much differently had they not been in separate states. (Don't worry, they aren't through.)


End file.
